Subject: MORE FROM: C. TO: L. Saturday, June 2, 2012 7:15 PM DOD LINK L.

, No, my jaw did not drop, nor do I have any basis or right to pass judgment on anyone for past activities.... I've had my share of carnal pleasure and experience ... but I can truthfully say that I have never led anyone on, because that is dirty pool; never took advantage of anyone, because that is stealing after a fashion; never failed to take responsibility for my actions, because I have always. If I should ever tell you I love you, you could take it to the bank because I will say the words in the true, committed sense unless I really mean it. I AM already extremely fond of you and I don't have a fucking clue where this may be going emotionally, if anyplace. I also happen to believe that those who find love after a certain amount of experience are better able to understand it and maturely handle it. So I find absolutely nothing to be surprised about in your past, and I hope you feel the same way about mine. We are who we represent ourselves to be, no more, no less. I found you totally trustworthy some time ago, and that quality is the gold standard of personal qualities for me. Let's share some more before I have to go. Yours, C. From: C.> To: L.> Sent: Saturday, June 2, 2012 8:01 PM Subject: My thoughts

DOD LINK L., You have been brave enough to open the can of worms, so here are my thoughts about that "issue." Sex is a very powerful force, one that cannot be played with without very important consequences. It so

happens that you wish to become pregnant, and I have made myself to be at your service. Although ours has been an unconventional "getting to know" experience, there seems to be a rather strong mutual interest, maybe even attraction --- there certainly is on my part. So, I think when I get back home, we should let ourselves go with the ow. We should permit ourselves to have sex, to enjoy sex together, as much as possible to forget about the primary reason we are doing it and enjoy it for the emotional content. I would like to enjoy it with you in all imaginable ways and situations, as often as our schedules will permit. The idea of just being a stud is not appealing to me. We should behave and conduct ourselves as lovers, not consulting the calendar but consulting our hearts because we feel like it. If you turn up pregnant (as I strongly believe you will rather quickly), GREAT!!! We have accomplished our purpose. If we fall in love as a result of the process, we are both old enough and emotionally mature to handle it. If one of us falls for the other and it is not reciprocated, that too can be dealt with in a mature fashion. We have already established a very strong basis of friendship, so we don't have to embarrassingly ask, "Can't we at least be friends?" I'm agreeable to establishing exclusive sexual access during the period of trying to get you "with child;" that would obviously be appropriate. Anything beyond that period (why do you think it is going to take so long and be so difcult?) is open for future agreement based on how we feel about each other. What are your thoughts? I'm asking you point blank: what do you think about me? I want to know. Take your time. Let's kick this around tomorrow. I've got to go see if I am still fertile now. :-) Yours, C.
From: L To: C. Sent: Sunday, June 3, 2012 12:58 AM

Subject: Re: My Thoughts

Oh, C., I think I have felt a mental, spiritual and emotional connection with you that I find most rare to come by. I'm not sure how "real" it is because we aren't together yet, but my heart is pushing me towards believing that it is. I think that I am extraordinarily attracted to you! I think I love your eyes and that I won't be able to "hide" from you because they will be too adept at looking deep within my soul. I think I can't wait to have your lips caressing mine. I think I admire you; I love that you know what it is you want from life and are following the path that your heart has set for you. I think I love how thoughtful and sensitive you are; how calming you feel to me. I think that I love how sweet, and even loving, it felt to receive your poems. And finally, I think that when you end an email to me and have written the words, "Yours, C." that I am open to finding out if I would want that always to be so! I don't know what Life has in store for us, but I agree with everything you said in your email and that, "...we should let ourselves go with the flow." But I must say when you wrote the following in one of your earlier notes from yesterday, "I also confess that during the past several weeks I have progressed from understanding our possible relationship as a convenience to you to something much more valuable and important to me ... a chance to see what my own child/children would look and be like before going through the progress "for real"* ... not that ours would be any less real." it made my heart kind of sink at what you seemed to be saying, as if you were having a feeling of detachment towards me and any possibility of there ever being an "us," which I had felt that you might be hinting at in previous emails and which I was becoming more and more open to such a possibility. It was very confusing to me... like I was getting mixed messages from you. I know that transitioning from "this" - at a distance, writing emails back and forth to each other - will be somewhat difficult for me because I am

"good" at distance and most likely because it is a less vulnerable place to be. I have been fairly bold in my correspondence thus far, but I am sure that I will, at least initially, be quite shy around you. I hope that you will be patient with me, take your time and not set expectations too high, as I will need time to get to know the you of three dimensional form! Sorry, but this made me laugh, "I'm agreeable to establishing exclusive sexual access..." It's like you're giving me the secret, secret code and now I get to have access to the awesomeness that is your body! Woohoo! : ) Game on! I'm ready for 24 hour access whenever possible, baby! But, really, I do want to thank you for realizing and understanding that being exclusive during our time of sex is the only way to find out if we have any sort of possibility in developing a lasting relationship. I too feel that regardless of what happens, we have established too strong of a bond to not want whatever is best for the other. Re: the length of time it may take me to get pregnant: I'm not in my twenties, or even thirties! Statistically, and I'm only going to say this once, because my attitude is, fuck statistics, the chance of pregnancy after forty drops off dramatically because the aging of a women's eggs tends to make them less viable, so even if one does get pregnant, there are often miscarriages before a lasting pregnancy takes hold. But again, if my father taught me anything (and he taught me a ton!) it is to do the things that are within your control that will make it possible for you to be in the ranks of a statistical success. And I am, and have been, doing those things within my control. I believe that you will get me pregnant, that I will have a successful pregnancy and deliver a healthy baby (or babies). I don't think that God has fatefully and dramatically brought us together to do anything but have something amazing result. I can't wait to go to sleep and wake up to a note from you... and hopefully, more time to chat tomorrow! L. *my highlighting

WOW!! FROM: C. TO: L. Sunday, June 3, 2012 10:25 AM DOD LINK L., It's Sunday evening, and I just received your last Email in which you were really open to me in answer to my question of what you thought of me. WOW!!!! I'm humbled to read and re-read your words. I'm open to whatever happens. I don't know which is more excited --- my heart or my _______ :-). Oh yes, my eyes ... I have been told that before ... that they are my "best part." I am happy that you see in them what you do. I'm staying up until all hours to "talk" to you today. Just let me know that you are sitting before your computer, waiting for the signal that you have another missile from me. Yours, C. Re: WOW!! FROM: L. TO: C. Sunday, June 3, 2012 10:49 AM Well, you did say, "'I'm asking you point blank: what do you think about me? I want to know." So... I'm not sure I know of any other way than to be open when I care about someone as much as I am coming more and more to care about you.

Since I had been up early this morning and hadn't heard from you, I decided I would start writing the next "chapter" of my "career" path... I'll send it along now. L. Monday PM FROM: C. TO: L. Monday, June 4, 2012 2:30 PM DOD LINK L., I'm missing you, for all the time we are not communicating, I'm missing you. I wonder what you are doing, if you are showing property, washing your hair, whatever, I'm missing you. I'll check back later. I know you said you should be free about this time, but I know other things intrude. Yours, C.

Couch FROM: L. TO: C. Wednesday, June 6, 2012 10:03 AM

C., do you have a couch in your apartment? If so, is it long enough to lie down on comfortably? Why you ask? Because the closer we get to actually meeting the more I am thinking ofhowandwhatI would like for us to do when that happens! And, unfortunately, what may seem very boring to you, seems exactly right for me! I would like to come to your apartment, have you open the door, look at me, as I look at you, then take my hand and lead me to your couch where we can lie down. You lying on your back and me lying on top, but to the side, whereI can feel your heart beating against mine, withyour arms around me and my head resting in the crook of your neck. I don't want anything sexual to transpire, not even a kiss! I want to just lie there like that and I want you to tell me everything about what you've been doing while away on your job - the highs, the lows, and the in-betweens. I want you to take your time talking to me. Afterwards, if you feel like you want to, then I would like to experience the feel of your lips against my own - I would like us to have our rst kiss. And then we can go from there... to playing drinking games! Or... you may have something else in mind! As always, I want to know your thoughts and what plans you may have been thinking of... L.

First meeting FROM: C. TO: L. Wednesday, June 6, 2012 10:22 AM

DOD LINK L., You must have been sitting at the computer ... waiting!!! Yes, I do have a sofa in the apartment, so the scene you described can be followed. Try not to be too concerned about the "ifness" of communication over the upcoming few days ... they will end soon. Try to stay busy, and keep your messages owing for me to read when I get to where there is a connection. Yours, C.

Wishing FROM: C. TO: L. Wednesday, June 6, 2012 4:06 PM DOD LINK L. Wishing I could fast forward to the end of this month and were meeting you at my door. ;-) I'm packing, getting ready for the start of my trip this weekend. Yours, C.